Chapter 6: I Can Use

Aloha, I’m Michelle, founder of Frequency Freek, and we’re continuing through my book Figure It, Face It, Fix It, a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach to addiction and recovery.

In this chapter, we explore one of the most misunderstood but powerful parts of the Choice Process:

“I can use.”

At first, this phrase often creates confusion. Many people expect recovery language to sound like “I can’t use” or “I will never use again.” That is the conventional approach.

We hear it from loved ones. We hear it from employers. We hear it from the legal system. And many of us say it to ourselves:

“I can’t do this anymore.”

But here’s what I discovered through my own recovery and through years of working with others:

“I can’t” does not create lasting change.

In fact, it often does the opposite.

“I can’t” creates resistance. It creates pressure. It creates internal conflict.

Because the truth is, when something is forbidden, the mind often becomes more focused on it—not less.

“I can use” is the second truth statement in this program, and one of the most important.

It is not permission. It is honesty.

It acknowledges a fundamental reality: you are still capable of engaging in the behavior. The choice still exists.

And that is actually where personal empowerment begins.

When we say “I can’t,” part of us often rebels. We feel controlled. Restricted. Limited. And that internal resistance can lead to secrecy, shame, and eventually relapse.

But when we say “I can use,” something shifts.

We step out of restriction and into awareness.

We step out of denial and into choice.

This is not about encouraging use. It is about removing illusion.

Because if I pretend I cannot use, I am not in reality. And if I am not in reality, I cannot make grounded decisions.

“I can use” keeps me honest.

It reminds me that I still have agency.

And from that place of agency, I can ask a more powerful question:

If I can use, what happens when I do?

That question brings clarity.

Yes, I can use. But where does it lead me?

How do I feel afterward?

What does it cost me?

What does it give me temporarily—and what does it take from me long term?

This is where the mindset shifts from restriction to conscious responsibility.

One of the most important insights in this work is understanding what I call the cycle of deprivation.

When we operate from “I can’t,” we often begin to feel deprived. We feel like something is being taken away from us. Like life is less enjoyable. Like we are missing out.

That emotional state is powerful.

Because deprivation doesn’t feel neutral—it feels painful.

And when something feels like punishment, the mind eventually seeks relief from it.

This is how the cycle begins.

We stop the behavior, but we experience it as loss.

We white-knuckle through change.

We resist, suppress, and struggle.

And eventually, that pressure builds until we return to the behavior—not because we failed, but because we were operating from a mindset of deprivation all along.

Then, when we return to the behavior, the relief feels intense. The brain registers it as reward.

So now we have a loop:

Stopping feels like punishment.
Using feels like relief.

And that cycle reinforces itself over and over again.

This is what keeps so many people stuck in patterns of relapse without understanding why.

The solution is not more restriction.

The solution is a different relationship with choice.

“I can use” breaks the illusion of deprivation.

Because when I acknowledge I can do it, I am no longer telling myself a false story that I am trapped or powerless.

Instead, I move into clarity.

Yes—I can use.

And because I can, I am also responsible for what that choice creates in my life.

This is where empowerment lives.

Not in denial.

Not in restriction.

But in truth.

And from truth, I can make aligned decisions.

“I can use” becomes the foundation of conscious choice.

It keeps me out of rebellion.

It keeps me out of secrecy.

It keeps me out of deprivation thinking.

And most importantly, it keeps me in ownership of my life.

This is my program.

This is my choice.

And from here, we continue to the next step in the process:

“However.”