Chapter 5: The Six Pillars of the Choice Process
Welcome back. I’m Michelle, founder of Frequency Freek, and we’re continuing through my book Figure It, Face It, Fix It, a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach to addiction and recovery.
At this point in the journey, we move from understanding the concepts into the structure of the actual program.
Chapters 5 through 10 outline what I call the Choice Process. This is built around six core phrases that function as the foundation of sustainable behavior change.
To explain this, I want you to imagine something.
Picture a wide, open platform—your happiness plateau. This is the place where you feel grounded, confident, emotionally steady, and aligned with yourself. This is where you want to live.
Now imagine that this plateau is suspended above the ground, supported by six strong pillars.
Each pillar represents one of the six phrases in this program.
If even one pillar is removed, the structure weakens. But when all six are in place, your foundation becomes stable, resilient, and capable of supporting lasting change.
These six phrases are:
I want to use
I can use
However
Once and it’s over
In this moment
I choose to accept temporary discomfort so I can get my benefits
Together, these create the structure of the Choice Process.
The first three phrases are what I call truth statements. They are not aspirational or idealized—they are honest acknowledgments of internal reality.
The last three phrases are declarative statements. They represent conscious decision-making and intentional action.
This program is also what I call elastic. While it is written from the lens of addiction and substance recovery, its application is much broader.
These same principles can be applied to any unwanted behavioral pattern—whether that’s substance use, emotional reactivity, procrastination, anger, compulsive habits, or anything else you are trying to shift.
The key is identifying the behavior and simplifying it into a clear, honest phrase.
The only word within the structure that changes is “use.”
Everything else remains intact, because the structure itself is what creates consistency and effectiveness.
For example, in my own recovery, I applied this to alcohol use by saying, “I want to drink.” Others may adapt it to their own patterns—such as “I want to smoke,” “I want to scroll,” “I want to numb out,” or any other behavior they are working with.
The phrase becomes personalized, but the framework remains unchanged.
The first phrase—“I want to use”—is one of the most important parts of this entire process.
It is a truth statement.
It acknowledges something essential: part of you does want the behavior.
And that is normal.
Desire does not disappear simply because we decide to change.
There is always a part of the nervous system, memory, and emotional body that remembers the relief or pleasure associated with the behavior.
At the same time, another part of you does not want it.
Both truths can exist simultaneously.
This internal conflict is normal, and in fact, it is expected.
The purpose of “I want to use” is not to justify behavior. It is to remove denial.
Because denial is one of the most powerful barriers to change.
When we say “I don’t want this anymore” while still engaging in the behavior, we create internal confusion and self-deception. We avoid accountability, and we delay meaningful change.
But when we say “I want to use,” we are practicing radical honesty.
We are acknowledging the part of us that still feels drawn to the behavior, without judgment and without distortion.
This is not about becoming someone who never has urges.
That is not realistic.
There will always be a percentage of you that experiences desire. That percentage may change over time, but it rarely disappears completely.
The goal is not to eliminate desire.
The goal is to become aware of it.
Because once you are aware of it, you can work with it instead of being controlled by it.
This is where personal responsibility begins.
When I acknowledge “I want to use,” I am no longer in denial. I am no longer pretending the impulse doesn’t exist. Instead, I can create a plan around it.
This is the foundation of long-term recovery: not the absence of desire, but the ability to respond to it consciously.
Many traditional approaches focus on labeling or suppressing this part of ourselves. In contrast, this process brings it into the light.
Because what we resist unconsciously tends to control us.
What we acknowledge consciously becomes something we can work with.
This phrase also mirrors a deeper truth seen in many recovery environments: awareness is the starting point of change.
But awareness alone is not enough—we pair it with structure, accountability, and a decision-making process that follows.
That is where the rest of the six phrases come in.
“I want to use” is simply the starting point. It is the truth that allows everything else to work.
From here, we build responsibility, awareness, and ultimately, choice.
And that is the work we continue in the next phrase: “I can use.”