Chapter 13: Final Day

You’ve made it to the end of this overview of my book Figure It, Face It, Fix It.

There are 13 chapters in total, and what we’ve done here is walk through a high-level view of each one—covering the core phrases that make up the program, the foundations of cognitive behavioral therapy, the importance of identifying underlying causes, the role of exposure work, and the need for a real re-entry plan into a world where substances and old patterns are still present.

This final piece is really about the bigger picture: the journey of recovery itself.

I often use the analogy of hiking here in Hawaiʻi. I’ve lived here since 1978—this is home. One of the things I deeply value is hiking through the island’s rainforest and mountain terrain. It’s beautiful, but it’s also unforgiving in places.

On some of these trails, you’re walking along narrow ridgelines with steep drops on both sides. You have to stay on the path. There’s no room for drifting.

Recovery is very similar.

There are two edges people tend to fall toward.

One is the valley of false confidence. That’s the place where, after some progress, the mind says, “I’ve got this now. I can go back and manage it. Maybe just once in a while.” That thinking tends to reopen the same cycle that recovery is trying to close. It’s a violation of the principle “however once and it’s over,” and it usually ignores the very research your own experience has already shown you.

The other edge is the valley of fear. This is where people stay in recovery but live as if they are constantly one step away from collapse. They avoid people, places, and situations entirely. They restrict their lives so tightly that recovery starts to feel like punishment instead of freedom. That’s not true stability either—it’s just another form of being controlled by the substance, even in its absence.

Exposure work, which we’ve discussed earlier, is what helps address that fear so you can build real confidence in yourself—not avoidance, not denial, but actual capacity.

The goal is not to live in either valley.

The goal is to stay on the pathway of freedom.

That’s where recovery becomes something sustainable. Not fragile. Not fearful. Not inflated with overconfidence—but grounded, steady, and real.

From that place, you can actually experience the benefits of sobriety: clarity, stability, better health, stronger relationships, and a life that starts to rebuild itself from the inside out.

If you’ve been following along with this series, I appreciate you being here.

If you’d like to go deeper, I work with people one-on-one through telehealth sessions. I also offer a recovery retreat here on Oʻahu, where we do focused work in a grounded environment near the ocean, followed by ongoing support afterward to maintain momentum.

And if you want a signed copy of the book, you can find it through my website along with a token that carries the core phrases of the program.

At the center of all of this are those six phrases:

I want to use.
I can use.
However once and it’s over.
So in this moment I choose to accept temporary discomfort.
So I can get my benefits.

One of those benefits, for me, is being able to support people in this process.

Thank you for being part of this journey.

Aloha.

Aloha, I’m Michelle, creator of Frequency Freek and author of Figure It, Face It, Fix It, a cognitive behavioral approach to addiction, emotional regulation, and lasting behavior change.

We’re continuing through the final part of the Choice Process, which is built around six core phrases that guide recovery step by step:

• I want to use

• I can use

• However, once and it’s over

• So in this moment

• I choose to accept temporary discomfort

• So I can get my benefits

At this point, we’ve arrived at the final phrase: “So I can get my benefits.” This is the third declarative statement, and it represents what I’m ultimately choosing to focus on as my motivation.

In this program, I’m declaring something very simple but very powerful: I’m keeping my attention on the outcome I want to live in—my benefits.

The benefits become the engine of change. They are what pull me forward when things feel challenging. They represent the real rewards of sobriety and behavioral change: better health, more stable emotions, improved relationships, financial clarity, self-respect, energy, presence, and a deeper sense of alignment with myself.

There are different types of motivation people rely on in recovery. One of the most common is fear-based motivation—focusing on consequences, losses, or worst-case outcomes. And while fear can create short-term change, it tends to fade over time. Consequences lose emotional intensity as time passes, and when that emotional charge drops, so does the motivation attached to it.

I’ve seen this pattern play out repeatedly. In moments of crisis, the fear feels real and immediate—“I can’t go back to that life again.” But as time passes and the shock wears off, the mind begins to rationalize, soften, and negotiate. Fear alone rarely sustains long-term change.

On the other hand, focusing on benefits builds over time. Every day in recovery adds something positive: more clarity, more self-trust, more emotional stability, more connection with others, more financial steadiness, more physical vitality. Unlike fear, these benefits don’t fade—they accumulate.

That’s why this program shifts the focus away from punishment and toward reward. Not reward in the sense of instant gratification, but in the sense of a life that steadily improves the longer I stay aligned with it.

The more I consciously recognize and feel into my benefits, the stronger that motivation becomes. This is something I encourage people to practice intentionally—when you say the phrases, don’t just repeat them mechanically. Pause and connect with a specific benefit each time. Notice it. Feel it. Reinforce it. Let it land in your system.

That repetition builds internal reinforcement. Over time, your nervous system begins to associate sobriety not with restriction, but with expansion.

So when I say, “So I can get my benefits,” I’m anchoring into the reason I stay the course. I’m choosing what I’m moving toward, not just what I’m avoiding.

Let’s put it all together:

I want to use.
I can use.
However, once and it’s over.
So in this moment I choose to accept temporary discomfort.
So I can get my benefits.

This completes the Choice Process framework.

Next, we continue into the final integration of the program.

Hi, I’m Michelle, founder of Frequency Freek, and we’re continuing through my book Figure It, Face It, Fix It, a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach to addiction and recovery.

At this point in the program, we move into the final three phrases of the Choice Process.

These are called the declarative phrases.

Meaning: they are statements of intention. They are conscious decisions. They are commitments we make to ourselves in real time.

Unlike the truth statements we explored earlier, these phrases are about action—what we choose to do with awareness.

The phrase we focus on in this chapter is:

“So in this moment.”

This may sound simple, but it carries a lot of depth.

“So in this moment” is the bridge between awareness and action.

It is the point where internal conflict becomes a conscious decision.

Let’s break this down.

Every choice is created when two things meet:

An urge… and an opportunity.

Without an urge, there is no internal pull.

Without an opportunity, there is no decision point.

But when both are present at the same time, a choice is born.

That is what “this moment” represents.

It is the intersection where awareness meets behavior.

In that moment, you are no longer in theory—you are in decision.

You are either going to follow the familiar pattern, or you are going to choose something different.

This is where recovery becomes real.

Not in reflection.

Not in hindsight.

But right here, in the present moment.

“So in this moment” is also where we begin to recognize something very important: the internal voice of what I call the “junky mind.”

The junky mind is the part of us that generates justifications, rationalizations, and emotional arguments for returning to old patterns.

It sounds like:

• “Just this once won’t matter.”

• “You’ve been doing so well, you deserve it.”

• “No one will know.”

• “You can start over tomorrow.”

These thoughts can feel convincing because they often mimic our own voice.

But part of this work is learning to separate from that voice—to recognize it as a pattern, not a truth.

When we externalize it, we can begin to observe it instead of automatically obeying it.

Some people even name it or visualize it as a separate character. Not because it is “other,” but because creating distance helps create awareness.

For me, I often describe it as a voice trying to negotiate in real time, pulling me out of clarity and into impulse.

Once we can see it, we are no longer fully identified with it.

And that creates space.

Space is where choice lives.

The junky mind also has two common strategies:

It pulls us into the future, where anxiety lives.

Or it pulls us into the past, where regret, anger, or resentment live.

Both states disconnect us from the present moment.

And when we are disconnected from the present moment, we are more likely to react rather than choose.

Because anxiety, stress, and emotional overwhelm often become triggers for old coping mechanisms.

This is not a coincidence—it is a pattern.

The mind tries to escape discomfort, and old behaviors offer temporary relief.

But recovery is not about escaping the moment.

It is about staying present within it.

“So in this moment” brings us back to center.

It reminds us that life only ever happens here.

Not in what happened yesterday.

Not in what might happen tomorrow.

But in what is happening right now.

And in this moment, we get to choose.

Part of learning to live in the moment is also learning how to be with whatever shows up emotionally.

Not just the pleasant experiences—sunsets, joy, connection, and ease—but also discomfort.

Stress.

Anger.

Loneliness.

Anxiety.

Boredom.

Grief.

These emotions are not problems to escape.

They are signals.

Like dashboard lights in a car, they are designed to tell us something.

If the check engine light comes on, it is not there to punish us—it is there to inform us.

Emotions work the same way.

Anger may be pointing toward a boundary that needs to be addressed.

Loneliness may be pointing toward a need for connection.

Anxiety may be pointing toward an overextended system or distorted thinking.

Stress may be pointing toward imbalance or overload.

When we use substances or compulsive behaviors to numb these signals, we don’t actually resolve them—we silence them temporarily.

And in doing so, we lose the opportunity to understand what our internal system is trying to communicate.

“So in this moment” is the practice of staying with that awareness.

It is choosing presence over escape.

Awareness over avoidance.

Choice over reaction.

This is where real recovery begins to stabilize.

Because when you can stay in the moment without abandoning yourself, you no longer need to run from what you feel.

You can listen to it.

You can understand it.

And then you can respond to it consciously.

So when we bring the phrase together in full context, it becomes:

I want to use.
I can use.
However, once and it’s over.
So in this moment, I choose to accept temporary discomfort so I can get my benefits.

This is the structure we are building.

And this is the moment where choice becomes real.

In the next chapter, we bring it all together with the final phrase of the process.